Babies and Big Boys

My tiny shred of hope I had this month, that this was the month came and went as quick as the weekend. I had a little bit of the buildup on Saturday when I had no sign of getting my period. But to no avail, Sunday came and my hope baby was ripped away from me.

I am getting so excited about the possibility of another baby. Every time I venture into any store my mind drifts to the baby department. I can't help peering at the tiny little clothes, taking in all the great new gadgets, and scanning for the brave new mama or daddy, in hopes of seeing a precious little newborn babe in tow. My thoughts are consumed by babies.

It just seems so hard to believe that my first baby is already almost three. Has it seriously been almost three years since I saw his perfect little face for the first time? For some reason the approach of Brock's third birthday is much more difficult than his second. He is just not a baby in any meaning of the word anymore. (well except for the fact that he is still a nuki-whore!) Just for fun, here is a list of things that have brought him into preschoolerhood since his second birthday.

• He self-weaned from breastfeeding shortly after his second birthday.
• He now not only knows his ABC's, but can recognize most of the letters, most of the time.
• He tries to color parts of a picture, instead of just scribbling across a page.
• He can ride a tricycle.
• He is fully potty-trained, day and night.
• Not only is he potty-trained, but he can "pee like daddy!"
• He eats at the table with us.
• He is able to dress himself.
• He knows how to spell his name, most of the time.
• He constantly reminds us that he is "...bigger to do that now."

There are so many more things to add to this list. I can't wait for him to be a big brother. He is such a loving, caring, sweet little boy. Some have even been lucky enough to witness these characteristics when he stops for a break in his, as I like to call it, spiritedness. Lucky me, as his mommy, I get to witness his sweet little personality every single day.

This morning, when Brock woke up, I was sitting in front of a full length mirror getting ready for work. He came into the room and curled up in my lap facing me. In the mornings and if he is upset, or trying to calm down, he likes to put his cheek on my skin right under the nape of my neck. This morning as he was cuddling in, I could physically see in the mirror how big he is. I was remembering back to those days almost three years ago when his entire, tiny, curled up little body would have (and did many times) fit into that spot where he now loves to rest his head in the morning.

It is so bittersweet watching a child grow up. I love seeing all the new things he can do, learning with him, and shaping the person I hope he will be one day. At the same time, I long for the days of breastfeeding, cuddling a baby on my chest and taking in the distinct smell that only a newborn baby has.

I am so excited to do all of the newborn stuff again, and this time, with Brock. Maybe next month will be our month. Hmmm, May sounds like a lovely month for a baby!